The impact of divorce on children
Divorce at the present time – not an uncommon phenomenon. When parents can no longer be together: one person fell out of love, met another man, finally, do not get along, they believe that it is better to divorce. The argument is that the child still feels the tension, false, and often becomes a witness of scandals, so it’s better for him not to see it.
Of course, the kid is painful to see discord between parents, but it is even more painful when one of them leaves the family. Parental divorce greatly affects the psyche of children. Change can be very different. Much again will depend on the position of the parents in this situation. A possible development scenario could be several.
Strange, of course, will sound “good separation”, but to scatter wife really might like a cat with a dog, nagovor each other offensive words. And, most importantly, a hostage situation again going to have a baby. Because, a little later after the breakup, each of them will try to make the child as an ally, to win his attention. One of the variants of the conquest of the location of the parent can be the gifts that are supposedly “smooth out” negative impressions. Only sometimes spouses don’t understand that for a daughter or son there is no priority in love. They take their parents for granted, not giving special preference to one or the other.
Because of emotional turmoil with the child there are two different phenomena. He may be angry with left the family parent (often the father), but to vent anger on the mother, because he knows that the mother may not be hard. Often found absolute loss of interest in everything around him, to study. Often such children have noticed a dulling of attention, they find it difficult to concentrate, turn in on themselves. And if the teacher gets fierce, she will arrange the student additional emotional press.
Among other things, in such a stressful situation such as divorce of parents, the child can return to a bygone fears, such as fear of darkness, loneliness, confined space. The enuresis is also an indicator of trauma. In fact, the child needs attention, but as a mother can give him more love, if she is emotionally drained.
When the family goes to the father
There is a change of roles. If the mother remained not one child, the eldest of them, at least, heavier than the others. Because the whole care of the younger ones will fall on his shoulders. Because, as a rule, the mother in such cases it is necessary to look for new or additional work to feed children. Therefore, the intensified attention and care of her to not speak.
Needless to say, the woman . remaining alone with her children, at least, offended at her husband. And, of course, it would be against if ex will begin to seek meetings with their offspring. In this scenario, the interests of disadvantaged children. Because for them, the father will always remain a father, and her mother was also one. If the deceased parent does not waive his paternal responsibilities and rights, it is wise to allow children to meet him, because they at least partially will receive the necessary communication. For the education of the important influence of both parents.
However, it happens that parents soberly assess the situation and do not hinder the child’s relationship with each other. But also remember that people are just people, and they are fallible. Here we have in mind that when a mother lets go of the child to her father, her attitude unwittingly transmitted to the child, because the mother of the child has a strong emotional connection. So, if the mother is configured negatively (the mind-then she realizes that the child needs to communicate with his father, and jealousy haunts), that her spirit is shared. In the end, when meeting with the father and the son may not behave calmly, and the home is also shows its not the best quality.
The mother in such situations, they say: “More to meet the father will not go” – not realizing that such a change of mood is associated with different communication characteristics. Because the parents live separately, respectively, and the rhythm of life, and views on things are different. Only tuned to communicate in harmony with the father, the child is again with her mother. Drop environment affects his behavior.
In sum, if the husband and wife fled, should think about getting on the child’s emotional burden was not so strong. After all, they are still his parents and can continue to love him no matter what. Well, if you can find the strength to try to explain the daze if not all, then at least the most basic. Instead of throwing the on-call phrase: “Grow up, will understand.” And he understands that between parents something, only the reasons are unclear. The explanation enables us to at least maintain the respect (for all parties).
Life, of course, sometimes presents surprises, but as they say, it would not be happy. Yes a disaster this helped. Any life lesson is beneficial for both children and adults. Remember this, and do not be discouraged.
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