Motherhood – contradictory happiness
“Today, we will become a mother…”. This phrase is thrown by an obstetrician-gynecologist in prenatal ward, sobered me. Now that’s a different countdown, now will start a new life, both literally and figuratively. I will not describe how I became a mother physically. In this case I want to consider the psychological aspect of my new life.
What is motherhood?
Motherhood is a controversial happiness. How would not like to say so, but this phrase stuck in my head for a long time. Motherhood is happiness! Happiness! Happiness! This is a boundless, overwhelming feeling. So what are the contradictions. I fiercely love my children, but something is getting me down, and It came after the birth of children. At least I thought so.
Actually, the contradictions begin long before birth. Every woman has a certain fear, staring at the test for pregnancy determination, regardless of what she expects to see there. Whether the fear of what her hopes again are not met, and ahead of another long night of loneliness, or the fear of new life that already beats you’ve got a heart, or simply fear of the reluctance of the appearance of life itself.
However, the nature, as a result, takes over, and gradually the fear is replaced by joy, and the woman begins to get used to his new position. There begins her new, exciting life that is called motherhood.
The relationship between mother and baby begins long before his birth, and before you dare to take this responsible step, every woman should know whether she wants the child, because only a sincere desire to overcome the difficulties that arise after the appearance in the family of new life. After all, every experience is postponed or unwillingness somewhere deep in the depths of the subconscious of your little miracle. And by answering this question only once, to not run away from him. For if something really wants it, despite all obstacles, is seeking ways to realize your dreams in life, not excuses why he can’t do it. Since childhood I often from old grandmothers, and just older women heard his plight, as he was an unwanted child in the family. These words filled me with dread! I was afraid of being unwanted and mom constantly asked whether she waited my birth. I was afraid when I suddenly find out about her own pregnancy, she will be unwelcome for reasons beyond my control.
We often are afraid of the birth and the upcoming pregnancy, but this period is also the most important stage of your communication with the baby, and I would call it not just a preparation for the upcoming birth of your child and the real, colorful and unique life that is worry.
It’s a shame when a woman just deceiving themselves and others, covering their Mercantile goals of the child. Some give birth to, to win back the love of her husband, others for money, and some of their own maternal selfishness, when the child they just need to meet in the first place, myself, and where the word “Want” is perceived in relation to itself as the law. But to become a good mother in the first place, to give the child his heart. And as well, when your heart is filled with love. Then you will be definitely enough for two!
So, the antenatal period is the period of psychological communication of mother and child, the establishment of their future relations. That’s where we draw colourful pictures of a beautiful future, which is filled with children’s laughter, and probably only thanks to them we transfer the anguish called physiological childbirth.
Indescribable joy we experience when we see your child for the first time. Dad’s eyes, mom’s mouth – staring at the baby, every mother sees what she primarily wants to see. Also in the behavior we expect from the child that themselves came up with while pregnant, in the evening thumbing through baby magazines.
But the child is a person, a small but already independent. He fills your life with new meaning, new needs, new, your, world.
Out of habit, your I’m just starting to protest against this restriction of freedom, and here begins the second phase of the unfortunate contradictions.
Postnatal depression – myth or reality? Yes, it’s really not the newfangled fairy tales psychologists. I, from childhood accustomed to cherish their freedom, as no one else has experienced it yourself. The feeling of failure to implement all the time stayed with me in the four walls, filled with children’s tears and laughter, diapers, toys, strollers, bicycles, designers, children’s socks and blouses…. Just wanted to shout – Aaaaaa. But where’s Ya I’m not here. Modestly on the table is the computer, which was my entire world. Night world. My family noses sweetly snoring in their beds, while mom walks by the Internet. They have dreams. I can only dream of. Precious time is running away! How little!
I really had little time. Time to live your life. But, thinking about its meaning, I realized how much was unfair to their children. Life without children was empty – so I thought before they were born. I filled this void with a variety of ideas, actions, Hobbies for myself. But it seemed that all of them are meaningless, because they had no future. Now I have a future, there is the meaning of life, why to live, whatever it takes. But once again life seems empty! All of my ideas and actions are focused solely on the interests of the children. And again I left empty… What is this double edged sword? I knew only one thing, I need to change myself and wait… Wait, when will pass the most controversial period of his life – the birth of your children. They are still too small to give mothers the freedom of choice, and the mother too loves his children, to exercise this right without their demand.
I guess motherhood is the only pure, unadulterated feeling, without a drop of selfishness and hypocrisy. And mom is not just a word out of a million that we utter, with no thought. Mom – it’s a rush of feelings! Don’t be afraid to become moms, don’t be afraid to commit themselves, for it is only pleasant chores that turn into grateful for you childhood love. Controversy plagued the people always, and perhaps only thanks to them we learn the true value and depth of this or that feeling. And the deeper you understand and will outlive you tormenting contradiction, the more love and sensitivity will live in your heart in relation to the baby. Do not force your own self, and just unleash this natural and natural feeling to be a Mother…