Mom, I’m scared
Almost all human actions in adult life, programmed since childhood. Our education, the attitude of the parents, their relationships with each other – all this determines our future. Fears, too, have their origins in childhood. Initially all fears rather primitive and fully natural. According to psychologists, children’s fears can be helpful. They help the child learn about the world, to remember the dangers that lurk, and avoid them in the future. But, having played a positive role, your fears should disappear, and someone they stay and allow them to live a full and happy life.
Psychologists to “cure” fears exactly memories, that is, to stop being afraid of something – you need to thoroughly examine all of your childhood available to the memories, to understand the causes of this fear, to analyze in detail the mistakes their parents, to make a few manipulations with his mind and the fear will disappear. Quite a chore, but many say effectively.
Parents, as you know, I want children, but sometimes only because of my own ignorance can cause serious problems in the baby.
In this article I want to review the most common childhood fears and their causes, perhaps someone it will help to avoid the mistakes that so hard then treated by psychologists.
Fear of doctors (pain)
When the child will have an unpleasant medical procedure, such as a vaccination or blood sampling, parents usually say: “don’t worry, it’s completely harmless!” with the best intentions, of course. But practice shows that the child is still in pain and he realizes that his parents lied ceases to trust, afraid of the next time, etc. It seriously complicates the situation in the family and undermines the atmosphere of love and trust, which is vital for the baby for normal emotional development.
Therefore, parents should understand that the child cannot lie. On the contrary, you need to warn him about possible pain and to explain the necessity of a particular procedure.
Different kinds pugalki.
“Be quiet, and uncle – the police will pick you up!”. “Girls who eat bad, took it to Baba Yaga!”. Very often, in a variety of situations parents resort to such “education measures”. Not thinking about the harm to her child. Imagine that kid will believe… Believe that parents can give it to a stranger and will not protect from Baba – Yaga. It turns out the parents, so your own fear in your child and at “every opportunity” – blackmailing.
There is another scenario. If the child is quite intelligent and observant, he will quickly understand that uncle is a police officer there is absolutely nothing to do with his tantrums, and Baba Yaga actually never seen. And make for yourself a very useful discovery: mum and dad lie to him, so he listened to them, and, therefore, can lie.
Fear of the dark
The most famous fear, is associated mainly with the rich child’s imagination. To avoid this fear, or at least to minimize its manifestations psychologists recommend a few hours before bedtime, do not play active games (that the imagination is not active), a little time with the child before bedtime (tell tale) and finally, if the child asks to leave a light on – switch on a dim night light.
Fear of water
Also a very common fear. One of the reasons which can be called the desire of adults to teach children how to swim. Special education parents, usually, and they often make mistakes. Once, accidentally left his head under the water baby, next time, most likely “learn to swim” does not want to, and the water will enter with caution. This fear will worsen if parents will continue to attempt to learn. If you have the opportunity to send their children to the pool – and to do better, they’ll learn to swim properly, quickly and without consequences.
Fear of dogs
Everyone is afraid of aggressive dogs, it is absolutely normal, but some are afraid of even the most innocuous. This unhealthy fear often associated with unpleasant experiences with these animals in childhood, parents or not warned about the precautions necessary, or Vice versa, bullied child, from an early age instilled in him that all dogs are evil and must be feared. And works very well here the Golden mean rule. The child needs to explain how to behave with dogs, so they are not attacked and the opportunity to demonstrate the love of animals.
In some cases, the children have a haunting sense of fear . to overcome that he can’t. Psychologists say that often the child may experience uncontrollable fear, if:
– parents being overprotective of the baby, with the result that he is not able to cope with the situation;
– the child’s psychological trauma, he experienced severe stress: death of loved ones, serious illness, etc.;
– scold him or punish him for his fears;
– the child has a wild imagination and he’s too impressionable.
Psychologists recommend to deal with children’s fears about such methods:
If the child says that is afraid of something, you must respect his feelings, even if they seem absurd.
Ridiculing fears is absolutely unacceptable: the child may withdraw and stay with your fear. You need to show confidence and a desire to help the child cope with these unpleasant sensations. Assure the child that he can rely on you, and you will definitely protect.
Parents should realize that the manifestation of the fears of the baby is a normal reaction to real or perceived threats. And while there are no differences in the manifestation of fear depending on gender. Psychologists say that fear equally boys and girls. You cannot blame the kid for manifestations of fear, reproaching him that he’s a boy.
· In the situation that causes the child to fear, try to be around. Support him, ask what he is afraid of and try to find together a solution. It is important that the baby is clearly aware of and speak your fears, it helps to deal with them, and eventually they may disappear by themselves. If the child does not want to tell – to press and force is not necessary, you can return to it later.
A very effective way to overcome fear is to draw or sculpt your own. Do it together, and then can break or tear, and it is possible to transform the resulting creature in kind and sweet. By drawing well resolve the fears generated by the imagination of the child.
It is useful to tell children therapeutic tales. You can invent a story in which the problem of the child is examined from all sides, and then resolves itself. Such tales help him look at the situation from the outside and have a different meaning.
Good results bring the story role-playing game. Here, as in a fairy tale, it should be based on the situation, very similar to the one which disturbs the child. Come up with him out of the situation for the hero of the game and finish on a positive note.
Fears appear together with the cognitive activity of the child, he grows and discovers the world. It develops and socialized, and leading role in the education of adults play. So how competent are the words and actions of parents, depends on the mental health of the baby.
A child can deal with their fears, if You will tell him how it can be done.