The school of adoptive parents is a relatively new phenomenon. But these programs have helped a considerable number of children and parents to find each other and create new families. What happens in the classroom who visit them, what fears have with prospective parents and on what terms you can take the family to the child? About Catherine Hlamovoy told Tatyana Markova, educational psychologist, the District authorized organization to support orphans and children left without parental care.
What is a “school for foster parents”?
This session, in which potential parents are prepared to take the child into the family. Leading talk about the psychology of the child-orphans, about how he will adjust to the new family on the legal aspects of admission. Parents not only listen to lectures and discuss topics that concern them, play set leading situation, watch videos and participate in a brainstorm, talk with the alumni. As you can see, the main focus is on the interaction between leaders and participants. An equally important part of preparation is an individual consultation with experts.
Who comes to these classes?
It’s not just young couples who for medical reasons cannot have children. It held the parents of any age who are raising or have raised children of their own. And adoptive parents who have not had such courses, but they believe that they would be useful to them. Since September 2012 training foster parents in the school will be mandatory for all those wishing to adopt a child.
From a legal point of view adopted child is equal to his own?
Of several forms: the most, shall we say, a “light” form is guest mode, which allows you to take your child on weekends, holidays and vacations. The rest of the time he lives in the institution. The most “complicated” form (and most preferable for the child is adoption. This means that the child will adopt and raise as his own. “Intermediate” forms of family life is a guardianship, foster family, patronage – here the child is essentially “public”, but living and growing up in the family. The only differences in the status of the adoptive parent.
Have you tried to dissuade parents to take the child?
In the classroom it is not persuaded and dissuaded, because it is work with a conscious choice of people. Our goal as professionals is to maximize the prospective parents what they can expect once the family gets the child. The courses explain how to behave and where to go if necessary.
And yet are there instances when objectively you should not take your child?
The potential motives of the parents are very different: to be needed, not to be alone, to help the child realize unspent potential parent. For example, the woman killed the child and she after a short time, yet Thoreau on his own, wants to adopt children of the same age and gender. In this case, he will be responsible not only for himself, but also of the fact in whose place he stood. And the child most likely will not pull. Mom, comparing a foster child with her, most likely, will make a choice not in favor of the first (“I thought he would be so, but he behaves like that”). Then he has the potential to become “a scapegoat”. In such situations it is better to postpone the reception of the child.
Apparently, not all who went to school, decided to take the child?
If the parent is at some point said that now is not ready to accept the child in foster care is not talking about his weakness. It just means that he’s not ready (not in General, but at the moment). It so happens that the members of groups in our classes, get rid of illusions and stereotypes that have come, there are some circumstances in life, and people can change their minds.
What fears have with prospective parents? How are you working with them?
Fears are mainly related to the fact that the child will inherit some of the negative traits of the biological parents. We discuss them, clarifying, and it reduces anxiety among potential parents.
How often do you visit your dad?
The child accustomed to a new family need it to be flexible enough so that the family members were ready for a change. Therefore, the participation of both parents would be the ideal option. I am glad that now more men began to join in the process of raising children (including foster). Of course, they are skeptical to the events, but in the process, I see that many position changes. Women are easier to “join” because they, as a rule, more disturbing, and courses are a good opportunity to clarify their concerns and reduce anxiety.
What are the ways to check – does the candidate take the child?
Special moves there, unconscious manipulation of participants, we will not conduct. Work is focused on awareness, and speech of the main points related to the intake. It is important that people got rid of the illusions and stereotypes. Otherwise, high risk of recurrence, which is often due to unrealistic expectations.
Can you contact parents who have already taken the child to the family?
Russian and foreign experience suggests that it is important not only to prepare candidates but also willing to accompany the family. Participants are always able to us come to us for a long term support or receive a one-time consultation.
Information and direction for education in the nearest School of adoptive parents you can get in Bodies of guardianship and curatorship at the place of residence.
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