Not hard to guess that people who have achieved success, and that, as a rule, politicians, actors, business men for a long time were “not on the horse” and had difficulties in communicating. They were not my favorite job, suffered from self-doubt. But as you can see from the headlines, they’re all just fine. And I have to tell you, many of them would not have coped with their difficulties in communicating without psychological help and without the help of an experienced psychologist. All psychological communication techniques they have mastered for a long time.

Hinder communication:

Insecurities often get in the way of effective communication, sometimes to have to seek psychological help. But still, let’s see, what uncertainty does to us and with someone. When you are unsure, feel discomfort, pressure under the breast, the lump in my throat makes you relax and say the word. And you don’t know what to say! And rightly so, how do you know what to say, if you compresses so much “bodily harm.” Only when you feel relaxed and calm, the words themselves come to mind.

During a conversation with someone, it is better to leave the problems that gnaw at you, it is better to discuss them with him, unless of course you allow it to. Otherwise the other person would feel that are not interesting to you, and you show him boring and squeezed.

The categorical.

Under the categorical refers to the obstinacy, rigidity of views. No one will communicate with a person who cannot take, at least from a part of someone else’s point of view. Flexibility in communication is the main tenet of diplomacy.

In a bad mood.

In a bad mood we want either to spoil the mood of another, or to withdraw into themselves. So if you’re in a bad mood, it is better to admit it to the other person and you will be witnesses, because all people can be in a bad mood.

Excessive intellectualizing.

In Russia, 85% of people have higher education, and a long 5 or 6 years we were taught to speak in professional language, it helps at work, but not how much it helps in the informal communication. Many people who are not used to conduct intelligent conversations just do not want to talk about something high, although this in our communication is not enough.

Permanent poddakivanija.

You can disagree with someone’s opinion, but merely expressing their opinions. Excessive indulgence may lead to the fact that you can pass for a person who does not have their own views.

Banal topics, trivial reasoning.

This applies mostly to the beginning of the conversation. Phrases such as “How are you? How’s life?” and answers such as: “Okay, Slowly, good have it all” -no good. These phrases are rather beacons attitude of a person to communicate, but not as a conversation! Want to make conversation, tell us how you spent the day, ask your interlocutor. Asked about his plans, tell about your. And so on.

But it is worth remembering that it all starts with the first sight. Only a few seconds, but it largely depends on the result of communication. Is the establishment of contact by non-verbal means. Hard, penetrating eyes, repels, frightens. Happy the eyes that draw like a magnet. Friendly, confident, heartfelt opinion always has to contact.

We do not see ourselves and sometimes wonder when man takes his eyes, looks away, and not caught in our opinion. A sincere smile is always something that is hidden. The unseen draws, offers. You smiled at the man, and he will smile to you in return. A smile, a compliment at the meeting will include the interlocutor faster than the flow of eloquent words then.

The advice of a psychologist. How to overcome difficulties in communicating with children

To create a complete, fulfilling relationship with the adult child must be able to communicate effectively with him. To achieve normal adult interaction should be ready:

– to listen to the thoughts and feelings of the child;

– share your thoughts and feelings with the child. Great importance is the style of interaction of the adult with the child. Ask yourself: “am I “To” child?” or “I am “With” a child?”

Adult, applying “To” child, as a rule, picky, tends to reminders, criticism, threats, exhortations, questions, advice, evaluations, or inspections. This style of communication has done more harm to the relationship than improves it. In addition, this style prevents the attainment of one of the main goals of parenting is to help your child learn to solve problems. On the contrary, an adult will get only what the child will feel rejected.

Stop and ask yourself: “would I want someone addressed me like that?” Imagine that someone teaches or criticizes you. Think about times when you were sad or angry. At such times you would prefer that you listened and tried to understand and accept your feelings. Sometimes you would like to be alone with him. Perhaps the child wants to do the same.

Used older orders, instructions, warnings or moralizirovaniya do not meet the needs of the child in trust, initiative and consciousness. For example, if a child knocked over the glass of milk, you might ask, “Aren’t you clumsy?” But it is better to say: “Here is a paper towel to wipe off the milk”, what exactly should be done in a similar situation. An adult should ACT, not REACT.

On the other hand, an adult who says “” the child listens to what the child SAYS and FEELS. This style of communication demonstrates respect, understanding and acceptance.

Is it possible to allow the child to Express their feelings? The answer can only be positive. Unfortunately, many adults learned from childhood that feelings of fear, anger, sadness cannot be expressed openly. The consequence of this belief is that adults strongly don’t know how to cope with a child exhibiting negative emotions.

When a child experiences negative feelings towards himself, he becomes withdrawn, unwilling to communicate with others, analyze your feelings and behavior. A child or an adult, engaged primarily in order to protect their own feelings, not able to effective interaction.

Very often adults, communicating with children, seek to compete with them. An adult may think: “it’s important For me to insist on his own”. This concept could usefully be replaced by the understanding that “the real winner is the one who knows how to treat other people”.

The barriers between adult and child collapses, will increase the feeling of self-usefulness, relevance, relationships in the family, at school will improve markedly.

The proposed communication style adult and child based on mutual respect. Mutual respect means that both the child and the adult will let each other honestly and openly Express feelings and thoughts, without fear of being misunderstood and rejected.

Effective communication is:

– adoption of what the partner;

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