Aggression in young children
Many children go through a period between two and four years – when the beats and biting is a form of communication, often the only one to Express this or that in their condition, for example: “I am angry” or “I want this.” Not having even the power of speech and, thus, not knowing how else to Express their wishes and requests, they tend to resort to using his fists or sharp baby teeth. Despite the fact that this is a normal stage of child development, such aggressiveness can turn into a habit. Children who, growing up, learn to suppress their aggression and to communicate with others using oral speech, often become real fighters. Through the fights, the children can produce their own things to which they aspire, but it will make them outcasts in the children’s company and other kids will be afraid of them.
If your child is in this phase of development, he may soon pass her. To bring this point (and to help protect other children!), you can use the tips that will help your child get rid of aggressive habits.
If you see your child, not yet begun to walk to school, hit another, first go to his sacrifice. Raise a hurt child and say, “Igor didn’t mean to offend you.” Then hug him, kiss and spend out of the room. Thus you deprive your attention the child, leaving him a playmate. Suddenly your child notices that the fun was over and he was left alone. Usually you need to repeat this 2-3 times and scrapper will realize that aggression is not in his best interest.
Set the rules
From the beginning, teach your child to respect the rules. Just say, “no hitting, and no one has”. For children aged four years and above requirements may be more detailed. May say: “In our house there is a rule: if you want a toy, but it plays another child and gives it to you, wait.”
Become a guardian angel
Children who use physical violence, often can not cope with its own character. For example, when a toy he wants to play, is another baby, unrestrained child can act impulsively and select it. Will often have to remind him about the rules set by you.
Become his second “I” .
When the aggressiveness of the child begins to grow, point him to this and offer alternative methods of solution. Say, for example: “In this situation, you want to punch, but it’s wrong. Better tell me what you’re angry. Can you tell me what you want to hit, but you know what so do not be”.
Beware of the one who offends
Do not overlook verbal aggression – often this is the beginning of something more serious. Child verbal image of “click”, forcing a playmate to strike back. When that happens, don’t blame the one who was hit, and pay no attention to the child that caused the fight. Child, started verbal aggression, should also be punished.
Declare a timeout
The period of calm is often the most effective way to change bad behavior. Small children should be seated on chairs in two or three minutes so as not to be distracted, and the older children sent to their rooms. Not only do it as a punishment, he says. Just explain that you are taking this step because you want to get it all in order and everyone was happy. Say, “You can’t stop a fight, and I want you to get yourself together. So I decided to help you. There will be a timeout for two to three minutes, until, until you calm down.”
Praise for the effort
When children respond properly, do everything to strengthen those efforts. Tell them: “I love how you did”. Children respond better to praise, when they see that parents are really pleased with them. Is not appropriate to say “Good boy” or “Good girl”. Children often do not pay attention to it. Better to say: “You brought me great pleasure when shared with his younger brother, instead of fighting with him. Now I know I can trust you care for him.” This praise is of great importance for children. It allows them to feel that they can make a good impression.
Create scenarios of success
Child, intimidating others, very quickly notices that physical aggression brings only limited success. It can take away the toy that he likes, or out of turn on the swing, but we will soon find out that he was friendless and alone. He may be, he is very interested in how to change their behavior.
You should try to teach children to think critically. First talk to the child what will happen if he will resort to force. If your child is constantly hit other children on the Playground, you can tell him: “You know what happens if you don’t stop fighting?” He may reply, “I’ll get into trouble with the duty according to the site, the Director will call me into his office and remove from the site”. Then you can tell him: “But you want to be praised? What would we do to your actions deserve praise, success?” Children readily respond to it.”
Once the child begins to realize that he was waiting for trouble, you can give him the opportunity to correct their behavior. For example, if a child’s aggression on the Playground, you can remind him about his desire to improve. Convince him politely to ask the children if they can participate in the game, or let him throw the ball back to the site and will wait until the kids called him.
Make a journal to get rid of bad behavior
When a small child begins to show signs of aggression, compose a story in which this child will be the main character. Using pictures cut from magazines, or photos of the child, create a situation in which the child behaves with dignity and deserves the praise. Talk to him in that moment, when the child is calm, not nervous. When the child has an emotional crisis, not easy to calm him.
Divide the child’s imagination
There is a fairly effective method to help the child a different perspective on his behavior, He is that you share with a child of his imagination. For example, a child who strives to ensure that all Playground belonged to him to get it. in the fantasy. Say, “Well, the entire week is only a toll will be spent on the Playground. No one will enjoy the swings, in addition to Toli. and everyone will stand around and applaud.”
After Roofing will realize that his most far-reaching dreams are just fantasies – and funny, serious talk with him. Say, “Now see, that sounds great, but in reality you can’t use the Playground, it’s good to play with other children. So let’s figure out how best to proceed”.
In extreme cases resort to force
To keep the child from aggressive attacks, you can use force, but only in the case when this aggression threatens his life or the lives of others. If you still have to resort to force, approach the child from behind and squeeze his hands. Cover his feet with her and keep your chin out of the reach of his head.
The use of force in some children causes rage, but calms others in that you are able to cope with them, he says. Only create the impression that you keep the child, trying to calm him down, do not show aggression towards him, that he didn’t feel as if he is attacked.
Source: from the book “family doctor”for kids